I took my little dog out on a walk and realized that she and I have about the same endurance level! And she's old and small which I guess in a way could be said about me. We are supposed to treat our bodies as a beautiful suit of clothes which we take exquisite care of, by exercising, eating well, etc. etc. and we are supposed to build up our spiritual minds with the same regularity and and effort we put into our bodies. So says ACIM. Right now I think it could be said that I'm taking better care of my mind than I am my body. I just need more regular exercise to build up some physical endurance. Luckily my friend gave me one of those wide headbands that cover my ears so I finally feel I've found the right head gear for the Meadow Valley conditions. None of my other hats felt really warm enough. Sometimes a miracle is just a little change in conditions which becomes wonderfully available to us when we finally get what it is we need to do.

prefiguring

Isn't this funny? James being such a musical kid and all. This was a complete coincidence. I took this pic of James before I even came across the pic of Bob!

Missionaries

I saw online a quote of the Rev. Desmond Tutu that said, "We are all missionaries or we are nothing." While I get what he's trying to say, I think this statement is in some ways misleading. It may be just a matter of semantics, but doesn't this statement relegate those who give us the great honor of  serving them into the category of "nothing people?" The elderly, the infirm, the imprisoned, the impoverished, the very young, all God's animals? We all know it is more blessed to give than to receive, but how could we gain this blessing without those who have volunteered, in a Karmic sense, to allow us to give to them? It is never right to tell anyone he or she is nothing. Never. All God's children are special and none of God's children is special. Does that make sense? It's from the Course.

Reno

This is the best way to go to Reno, stopping for a picnic on the way and bringing a cooler for the stuff from Costco. Well we didn't have time to do this yesterday since Richard had a doctor's appointment. We did go to Costco, where of all places I saw a lovely piece of jewelry from a trunk show. It was a large green amethyst set in sterling. I could have afforded it. But I thought of my large red hearts and thought that I really want to wear them. If I get new necklaces I will ignore my beautiful red hearts. I have some regrets about leaving the amethyst behind. A jewelry collector hates to leave anything behind, but I tried practicing the lesson that God's salvation is the only salvation. I went home and put on a necklace that is very close to the one in the store. The thing is that unless you are willing to upgrade by getting rid of some older pieces, you just end up having too much. When I try to think about selling my older things, I get nostalgic. I remember buying each piece, where and for how much. I remember where I was in my life when I wore these things and with which outfits.  My jewelry is essentially the story of my life!

sunbeams

Sat in a sunbeam all morning attempting to absorb all that golden light into my being. This is the eighth day of low water pressure. Richard has attempted all kinds of fixes with no luck. The plumber comes Weds. Have to admit this water thing is getting to me although I haven't actually acted on my stress. I only have to hold out for two more days. Visiting a friend today and going to Reno tomorrow. I have been meditating on the idea that there is only one problem and only one solution. That problem is separation from love. If I believe is a loving Universe then all this is is some dinky water problem I'm having. It doesn't even register on the ol' problem meter.

plumbing again

No, I'm not going to suggest plumbing washers as a new jewelry accessory! Just want to remind my faithful readers that this year I'm focusing on meditations although there will probably be some jewelry since I love it. If you are looking for a good jewelry blog check out Gemgossip.com. It's a great site. No, today I'm going to talk about how my plumbing is still screwed up somehow and how my water pressure is still low. I needed to take a shower again (of course), and as I mentioned here before some of my best thinking is done during a long hot shower. But with the water pressure so low, no such luck. It was really strange how I was able to change my attitude enough to make the horrible shower almost tolerable. I meditated on the fact that, yes, the shower wasn't going to be what I wanted. I thought about how my husband is working on fixing the problem. And then I just took a pretty cold shower without a lot of drama or upset. This is a big step for me albeit in a small arena. As Margaret Fuller said, "I accept the Universe," and I think it was Nathaniel Hawthorne who said, "Well she damn well better!"

snow

I am feeling a huge snow storm. The heavy laden trees. The purple and pure white light. The leaden sky. And the silence. I feel myself putting on my new white snow boots. They're heavy on my feet. I see snowflakes like large white feathers falling over everything and obscuring my vision. The world is clean. The snow pours and pours. All day the snow falls. The light in the house is dim, but we build a fire in the stove and the air is warm and dry. The electricity goes out, but we've got the fire. After exploring the outdoors for a while I come in and eat a piece of toast and drink a cup of tea. Then I set myself up on the couch near the fire and begin to read a beautiful old book, printed in 1901, of Dante Rossetti translating Dante Alighieri, La Vita Nuova. Large crashes of snow fall on the roof from the snow building up on the trees. In the woods I see that all the limbs are bending low under their robes of snow. And I am here, brought by God to the place where I need to be to heal the world. All God's little children say Amen. This is the new kind of prayer I've learned from out of an old book. Don't ask God for any particular thing but use your emotions to feel the Divine Presence. Poets have learned to develop their emotions very keenly and therefore are the perfect people to use this

remembering

Baby Amy. I just got her yesterday much to the confusion of Richard who asked me, "Why do you want that?" Well I read somewhere that returning to things that you enjoyed in your childhood can really make you happy. Well this doll reminded me of a famous neighborhood doll, when I was a kid, named Ginger. Obviously Ginger had red hair. I wanted Ginger so badly. She had belonged to the older sister of the kid I played with who owned her then. She was the size of a real baby and could wear real baby clothes. So I bought baby Amy some real baby clothes at the thrift store where I found her. I have a few other dolls up in my attic just waiting for a grand niece or grandchild to want to play with. But I think I like Baby Amy best because she reminds me of Ginger. I don't have any of my own dolls because as the oldest of eight, my dolls were always handed on down the line when I out grew them. Another thing I have done using this idea of remembering what you love in your youth is rediscovered Paul Rodgers whom I loved to listen to in my teens. I've ordered most of his more recent albums and really enjoyed his wonderful voice almost everyday since the CDs arrived. It is my belief that the happier we can be the happier we can make the world. I'm grateful for the memories I have of being a kid.

innocence

It is so easy to look at a baby and see an innocent child of God. But something happens after, oh, 50 years or so, that turns our perception of a person's innocence into a big body bag of guilt. This is interesting because when someone our own age or so does something obnoxious we immediately go to blame. "What an obnoxious jerk!" we think, forgetting that people are usually at their worst in the areas of their wounds. If someone hurt a baby, we would be outraged. But as adults we hurt each other all the time without thought. Yet we are all still the same innocent child of God as we were when we were born. Why? Because God forgives every mistake or misstep. All we have to do is accept the atonement for ourselves and forgive everybody else at the same time. Yes we may have to do this several times a day. And at least every morning and every night, yet clearing our minds of the guilt in others is a habit that we can attain. Not perfectly all the time by any means. But still, enough so that we don't take our anger out on others most of the time. Anger is a warning sign that the ego's buttons have been pushed usually in the spot of our own wounds. Take the time to see others as innocent children of God. It helps.

speaking of giving

Speaking of giving, a friend of mine gave me this darling Easter card yesterday. Interestingly she also helped me pay for a really cute Easter Bunny back when Steven was little. Some people just manifest as Easter people in your life. It is a goal that any Enlightened student of the Universe should try to attain. Easter is my favorite Holiday, and I wonder if it's time to throw a big Easter Party at my house again this year. We'll have to see what God presents to me to enable such an event to occur.

lack

Yesterday I learned once again that nothing can be lacking in any situation other than what you're not giving. I was in sort of an unspoken estrangement from two of my family members, and it was really bothering me. And in each case I realized that all I had to do was open up my heart and give something of myself to the situation, and I'm glad to say that in each case the harm I was feeling was healed. I have experienced this phenomena so many times that I truly believe it is a law of the Universe. As Christ says in the Course of Miracles: It's not that my way is difficult, it's just that it's different. There is nothing I have worth keeping that binds me to an unhappiness with another person. I have to say that I'm not evolved enough to say that there aren't certain exceptions. I can think of at least two former friends that I am not on good terms with. I feel my life to be much lighter without these two people. All I can say at this point is I get intellectually that these two people are children of God and that they are innocent of my condemnation of them, but I'm at the stage where I can't let the bad illusions that I associate with them go. So I just try to say God bless you whenever I think of either of them and let it go at that.

The Enlightened Master takes a shower

I just learned that the one thing an enlightened master needs is a really long, super hot shower. I learned this the hard way when my shower was low in water pressure and kinda cold. My meditation this morning did keep me from saying the f  word a lot but a few gol dangits did roll off my tongue. I thought of the Spiritual, "There is only one of us here," and thought gol dangit why isn't he a plumber!  

humility

Is there another creature as humble as a cow? This year I'm going to honor the humility of the cow. I am trying so hard to become an enlightened master (yeah right), but I make so many mistakes! In order to be transfigured into a being of light in the world you must practice, practice, practice. Meditation is so hard for me. As a poet I am trained to feel everything and understand the world through feeling. But enlightened masters transcend their feelings and submit to the laws of consciousness of the universe. Luckily I just found out about a new form of prayer that involves just feeling what it feels like to have what you are praying about. My two experiments involve praying about snow and about saving the dying eagles. I just try to feel for a few minutes a day what it feels like to have a lush silent snow storm and then I try to feel the feeling of what it must feel like to be a free healthy bald eagle. I will also try to feel the humility of the kindness of cows. They are slaves yet they come up to greet you when you pass their pastures.

This year I am also going to practice the attitude of gratitude. I am so grateful for my husband! While embarking upon a radical releasing of most of the people in my life from my expectations, it is kinda hard to feel gratitude. Mostly you feel a sense of loss that you just pray that you can get over. But I'm so grateful for my husband who does not want to be released from my expectations. He just wants to spend time with me for the sake of it. He's seen my worst and doesn't care how negative I get. He just accepts me and encourages  me to be my best. It makes me cry to think of it.

New Year

Happy New Year! My meditation for today is that God is alive and all is forgiven. I've been thinking that the more you don't love yourself, forgive yourself, the more you attract others into your life who don't love or forgive you. So it is a radical thing to accept the atonement for yourself and know that in a Holy instant all Karma is burned. For instance, I feel terrible about not holding a full time job. And yet when I was well I worked very hard. Still that does not feel like enough. It feels like you can never rest on your accomplishments of the past. But in Spiritual terms everyone already has a job. The job of being yourself in a forgiven world. Your job is to forgive everyone. The more we forgive the more we give others the radical freedom to be themselves. This is my mission for this new year, 2014.